The Overwhelm of Expectations

The overwhelm of expectations can come crashing down at any moment. What are expectations and are they healthy?

I believe that expectations can be healthy and are even biblical! An expectation is a strong belief that something will happen. I believe that God does want us to have expectations IN him! That he will move, he will help us and his plans for us are good (Jeremiah 29:11).

The unhealthy expectations I’ve seen in my own life are: expectations of society, expectations of myself and expectations towards others.

What drives those expectations?

All these expectations have a root of fear in them. Fear of man, fear of rejection and fear of lack of security to name a few.

God never intended for us to look like the world! So if we’re chasing after the “American Dream” for example, over chasing after the heart of God, how can we expect to see Godly fruit in our lives?

Having expectations of others can push people away or drive you to self-protect. It’s easier to push people away than to let them in and be vulnerable. However, God never intended for us to be alone or to walk this life out without his church!

When expectations are rooted in fear, they are not of God. God does not give us a spirit of fear, he gives of power, love and a sound mind (1 Timothy 1:7). So it’s not the expectations alone, it’s the driving forces behind them. It’s good to set goals for yourself, but it’s not a good goal if it’s not a God goal.

How to apply it.

We are meant to have expectations of God to move in our lives! His plans stand firm (Psalm 33:11) and any door that he opens no man can shut (Revelation 3:7-8). However, putting so much weight on the expectations of society, of people close to you and even of yourself can put you into a spiral of striving and seeing other things as more important than living your life for God.

When you try to do things on your own, without God’s counsel, it’s easy to see work, money and people as your safety and security in this world. You start to trust more in yourself and things than in God.

Trust me I have done it. But if we want to live our lives to please God, then we need to lay down our own desires and our own ways.

If you are putting more value in your expectations, then you are in God in your life, just change your language and change your mindset.

Lay it down at his feet and see what he does with it. He can very easily give it back to you. But if you aren’t willing to let something go, how will you be able to open your hands to receive the blessings he wants to give you? What if I told you God never had those expectations of you?

You never know until you look in his word and ask him for yourself! That truly is the answer. It’s so simple. We have the heart of God at our fingertips. If you allow a lack of motivation to not read the word, keep you from reading it, how will you know the heart of your father? If you allow stress to keep you from prayer, how can you expect to feel close to him?

How will you know what Godly expectations to have?!

My expectations?

I’m going to be really vulnerable. Recently, I had to quit my job. I was finding so much safety and security there, instead of in my father's arms. In reality, I just wanted a sense of stability that only God can provide.

To gain that perspective shift I had to say to the Lord, “God I am finding a false sense of security in this job and I repent for trying to do this on my own. I feel burnt out, Lord. I only receive safety and security in your presence. Teach me how to do it with you. Show me the areas in my life that you have already provided safety and security” Then I waited and allowed God to speak into my life about my job.

I’ve realized how much I let it define me and how much pressure I was putting on myself to find my dream job right out of graduation.

In reality, God just wants me to live to please him. I’m still going to look for a job and I know I will find one. However, moving forward I’m declaring I will not find my safety and security in a job. A job is merely one space that God can and will use me in to bring him glory. I don’t regret spending my time at this job, because it taught me this valuable lesson.

I know that God wanted to teach me it before, however sometimes it takes me a longer, harder way! I hope that by sharing my experience, I can help you do it the God way!

Once I had that perspective shift, I could see how ill-fitted the job really was for me and why I felt burnt out. It wasn’t the role that God had for me, even though the company was inspiring!

Shifting my perspective onto him, changed everything for me! What perspective shift do you need to make today?